10 Things Women Can Do to Succeed in Business

My journey into leadership began at age 28, when I was hired to lead a team of 6 managers in various locations and the 60 staff under their supervision. Despite my new title, I was subjected to a judgment and scrutiny that men somehow managed to escape. I remember thinking there must be something wrong with me. Today, we have a social construct and language for what occurs: it’s called unconscious bias. 

Throughout my career, I’ve learned how to succeed in spite of this unconscious bias. I thought I’d share a few of these lessons with you. They apply to women at all levels, but they are based on my own observations, experiences, and comfort level. They might not fit your own personality or situation, so take what you need and leave the rest. 

#1: KNOW WHO YOU ARE AND WHAT YOU WANT…AND NEVER APOLOGIZE FOR IT.

Plenty of people will tell you you’re crazy for wanting something big, ambitious, or better for yourself. They might tell you that you’re biting off more than you can chew, you have your priorities all wrong, or you’re not good enough. 

When I had been in HR for less than a year, my colleagues discouraged me from sitting for the most strategic HR certification available at the time. My boss and other colleagues told me they had failed the test a few times. They encouraged me to take the easier, entry-level exam and take the advanced exam later when I understood more about my profession. In public I heeded their well-intended advice. But in reality I registered for the harder exam and signed up for a 6-week study group to help me prepare. Four months later when I passed the more senior exam, not one person congratulated me with sincerity. Instead, they all gave me that “You gotta be kidding me!” look. I remember walking back to my office with a big grin on my face and thinking, “Never tell me what I can or cannot do and never underestimate my ability to prove you wrong.” Oh, the satisfaction!

Don’t let others discourage you from pursuing your dreams.

#2 INCREASE YOUR BUSINESS ACUMEN

In every industry I’ve worked, people get promoted because of their technical expertise and accomplishments. Some learn to be great leaders, but others struggle making the leap from technical expert to supervisor. They never perfect (or even try to learn) the soft skills required to lead a team or the political savvy to navigate a corporate culture. However, the people who understand and can articulate how what they do directly affects the company’s success are the ones who get identified as high-potential employees and future leaders. 

I learned how to do this when I worked for a hospital. I learned that our patient safety and satisfaction scores were declining, resulting in our ranking to fall to 20th out of 22 hospitals. Our endowment and donations were also declining. We faced a crisis: if things didn’t improve, the company would need to shut down some hospitals. 

In that moment I made a connection. Two weeks earlier I had facilitated training where employees expressed that leadership didn’t care about their ideas. They were tired of trying to fix things when it seemed like no would listen. They were cynical and disengaged. 

I told our quality director that I believed our disengaged workforce could be causing the low safety and satisfaction scores. If we could correct both, I believed it would also improve our financial situation. After we applied lean management principles and implemented training and engagement, in 6 months our quality scores rose from 86 to 95%. Employees were thrilled to be involved in improving processes and effecting change, and civic leaders took notice of the transformation and gave more money to ensure the hospital continued to provide amazing care to children. It was a real win for everyone.

Look for ways to show how what you do affects your business’ success. You’ll be given additional opportunities to learn and grow into progressively responsible roles.

#3 SHOW SOME MOXIE

Most studies on the differences between men and women in the workplace center around behavior. Through social conditioning, men have been taught to be brave and bold, while women are expected to be sweet and nice. And if you don’t act in accordance with your gender’s expectations, the workplace can be fraught with peril. 

Why does it have to be either/or? But “brave and bold” gets rewarded far more than “sweet and nice.” Men will be bold and invite a C-suite or business unit leader out to lunch or coffee to “talk shop.” They build relationships with leaders who know what’s going on in the company, make decisions, or have institutional knowledge to share. This relationship can turn into an organic mentoring relationship. The leader could become a top advocate for the employee and sing his praise when career opportunities arise. No wonder men get promoted at rates faster than women. 

Ask yourself: where do you sit in a meeting room? Women often sit in the chairs around the periphery of the conference room instead of at the table…even if there are open seats. When asked why, women will say they assumed the table was reserved for leaders or presenters. Or they might provide another response that diminishes their reason for attending the meeting. Men, on the other hand, simply walk into a room and sit at the table. When researchers asked men – who were not leaders or presenters – why they chose to sit where they did, they simply said it was the first chair they saw open. They didn’t give a second thought about it. 

Those who sit at the table have more visibility to meeting facilitators and are often asked for their opinions or ideas. When women place themselves on the sidelines, they are putting themselves at a disadvantage. So next time you attend a meeting, show some moxie and take a seat at the table. Chances are nobody is going to ask you to move.

#4 STOP EXPLAINING YOURSELF

Women often have an unconscious need to apologize or explain themselves. You can stop that right now.

Take, for example, the bias against parents in many workplaces. Fathers are viewed as noble breadwinners and often make more money as a result, while mothers can be viewed as less committed to the job than to their children, more likely to quit or want to work fewer hours, or less interested in advancing their careers. Of course, these biases don’t apply to ALL women. Young men in the workplace today routinely request paternity leave and flexibility to be equal partners and active parents. Yet these demands do not affect their careers the same way they affect women’s careers.

Take another cue from men and stop explaining yourself or apologizing when you need to tend to a family need. Your explanation or apology may be playing into people’s bias about working moms. Let me explain with an example I often see.

Imagine: A coworker adds a 4:00 p.m. meeting to your calendar, but you need to leave work at 3:30 p.m. to get your child to soccer practice. Many women launch into a lengthy explanation about why they can’t attend, peppered with apologies, and promise to go above and beyond when they get home to demonstrate their commitment to the job.  

When faced with a similar situation, men often simply say, “I’m sorry. I’m not available to meet at this time. Can we meet tomorrow morning at 8:30 instead?” If they’re questioned for more information, they might say, “I have another commitment that conflict with this meeting.” 

Take a tip from men: don’t feel the need to explain or apologize.

#5 GET COMFORTABLE ADVOCATING FOR YOURSELF

Many women believe if they do great work, their boss will notice and they will be rewarded. Here’s the reality: most managers are busy. If your boss doesn’t notice you are admired by your peers and loved by your clients, he or she might not know about it. The solution? Toot your own horn!

Most girls are raised to be likable and get along with others. How has that worked for you after all these years? It can be uncomfortable for most of us to celebrate our successes. But if you don’t have a boss or advocate doing it for you, you’re going to have to learn to do it yourself. 

The next time you get a note card or email from a client or coworker who appreciates your great work, forward it to your manager. Toot that horn! 

#6 BUILD A TRUSTED “COUNCIL OF FOUR”

My Council of Four provides me honest feedback and shares their expertise to help me grow. They are an exclusive group of individuals who I respect both personally and professionally. I know I can let my guard down with them, share frustrations, and safely expose my uncertainties without judgment. They connect me to other brilliant people in business that can help further my career goals. And when I’m thinking of making a bold move or feel stuck, they help me sort things through.

Who should be in your council? Here’s my recommendation:

• Someone in your company and your department. They’ll understand your work challenges and team dynamics and will be able to support you on day-to-day challenges. Their role is to offer solutions to lift you up and move you forward. 

• Someone in your company but not in your department. They can help you navigate the political climate or tough relationships in your career. They’ll know more about what’s going on in the company, where it’s headed, and how you may or may not connect to that path. You can ask them, “How am I perceived this this organization?” or “Who would you suggest I talk to if I want to know more about X?”

• Someone outside your company but in your profession. This person can provide you with information to grow and excel at your job or help you keep a pulse on the industry if you’ve lost sight of it for a few years. When I don’t understand the full implications of a benefits program, for example, I call a former boss, a senior VP of HR, who grew into her leadership roles through compensation and benefits. 

• Someone outside your company and your profession. This person is your link to the outside business world and the movers and shakers in your community. For me, lately, this is a seasoned CEO. He retains and actively uses knowledge from every leadership book and business journal he’s ever read. He’s up on the latest layoff trends (in case I’m in hiring mode) and mergers and acquisitions, and he knows at least one person in any industry in the Portland metro area. From him I gain business constructs and language to use to convey my ideas. When I need to navigate a sticky business situation or relationship, he provides an objective man’s perspective (that is not my boss’ or my husband’s). 

#7 BUILD A STRONG NETWORK AND NURTURE IT

 Networking is crucial at all stages of your career. It could help you find a mentor, learn about job opportunities before they are advertised, or give you new ideas about your job and your industry.

Build your network from all parts of your community and nurture it before you need to rely on it. Let your network know they are on your radar, which in turn keeps you on theirs. A thriving network is built on a combination of occasional face-to-face meetings and regular phone calls and emails. If you ever need to look for a new job or get support for a business venture, your network could save the day. 

#8 HAVE AN OPINION AND DON’T BE AFRAID TO SHARE IT

 Nobody will know how smart or brilliant you are if you keep your thoughts, opinions, and perspectives to yourself. And you just might have an idea that unlocks a difficult business challenge or builds upon another person’s idea for solving.

If you’ve been dismissed in the past, had your idea ridiculed, or had someone else take credit for your idea, it can be hard to speak up. But you can help shift the culture and be part of the solution. Actively participate in the process (see #3) instead of being part of a disengaged workforce. Even if your bosses disagree with your suggestion, they’ll be more likely to listen to you in the future if they know you’ll get on board and be committed to the different path they take. 

#9 MASTER YOUR EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE

Emotional intelligence is the critical factor that sets star performers apart from the rest of the pack. If you are aware of your emotions and your ability to self-manage them, you can stay flexible and positively direct your behavior when interacting with others. Emotional intelligence also helps you pick up other people’s cues and emotions and manage interactions with them. 

Coworkers or bosses who lack emotional intelligence are the ones who fly off the handle or just don’t seem to care how others are feeling. When you have high emotional intelligence, you can actively listen and influence others based on their verbal and visual feedback. Under stressful situations, you can steady the boat and remain cool under pressure instead of acting in a manner that does not serve you or your professional reputation well.  

It is human to get angry or frustrated. How you react in front of others, however, is completely within your control and will either help build your leadership credibility or erode it completely.

#10 HAVE A “DON’T GIVE A DAMN” FUND…OR AT LEAST LIVE BELOW YOUR MEANS FOR FINANCIAL FREEDOM

I met my husband when we both worked for high-tech firms after the Dot-Com bust, and we came to expect routine layoffs. But we decided early on that we would always live below our means so if one of us lost our job, we would not be thrown into financial chaos. 

When I was laid off a year later, we cut back on discretionary spending and got creative with how we could still spend time with our friends and do the things we enjoyed. Because we were prepared, I was able to put my focus on my next career move and give less attention to whether our primary needs were being met. 

As we grew our careers and higher salaries followed, we continued this practice. We could have put our money into a bigger home, a luxury car, or other material items. Instead, we invested most of our salary increases into retirement and prioritized vacations to global destinations on our “someday” list. Our strategy means we will be able to retire earlier than most people if we choose, but we’re also creating rich memories together. It also affords us the ability to say “take this job and shove it” if we find ourselves in a soul-sucking job or an unhealthy organizational culture. It is incredibly liberating to have full control over the direction of our lives and not feel chained to a less-than-ideal corporate experience. 

As my mother used to tell struggling 20-something-year-old me, “The more money people make, the more money people spend, and they still find themselves up to their eyeballs in debt.” We chose to get off the “keeping up with the Jones” rollercoaster early and opt for the Ferris wheel instead.